I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. It is not so. He came in with his hands in his trousers pockets and a general air of depression in his bearing. Women are not in the world in the same sense that men are—fighting individuals in a scramble. Shouting to his companion, even as they passed by where I hid myself, he called out that he thought to find you at the convent. The moment I entered the room, and found you a prisoner in the hands of Jonathan Wild, I guessed how matters stood, and acted accordingly. It was her job to keep the house as neat as a pin, up to the high standard that Sheila expected, being a nurse.
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