He shut his eyes and groped for the wall to steady himself, wondering if this bit of mummery would get over. "I'll soon settle this business. Even now, during the recurring doubts of the future, the thought of the island was repellent. . "Do you think we are to be disturbed in this way? Make less noise, hussies, or I'll turn you out of the Lodge. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart.
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